Thursday, March 26, 2009

And THAT'S Why You Don't Use A One-Armed Man to Teach a Lesson


When Harrison was a little over one year old, I left him playing in his room while I went to the bathroom for a couple of minutes. When I came out of the bathroom, he was in the living room screaming and covered in blood. I got him in the tub and cleaned him off to figure out where the bleeding was coming from. It turned out that his teeth had been knocked in somehow.

We went to the ER, where the suspicious doctors pointed to every bruise on H's body asking, "Is this what happened? Is this what happened?" They sent us to a pediatric dentist nearby who had apparently heard of children before, or at least read about them in a textbook. She informed me that "Kids this age fall down a lot" and then proceeded to list things they fall down and hit themselves on (none of which were in my home). I guess it never occurred to her that as the person who spent every waking hour with this kid, I was well aware that he had a tendency to fall down and was more concerned about the future of his teeth.

A couple of years later, we noticed that his two front teeth weren't growing as fast as the rest of his teeth. We took him to a dentist and she said she wasn't worried about them.

A few months ago, his two front teeth started to turn gray. We took him to a dentist who suggested we pull them out (and by "we" I mean him).

This morning I gave my son a "kiddie cocktail" full of the good stuff drug-seekers go for and watched as he had two teeth pulled and cavities filled. He won't be able to eat anything but soft food for the next couple of days and he'll be toothless for the next couple of years.

. . . all because Mommy had to go to the bathroom.


16 Wisecracks:

Nicole said...

Worst. Story. Ever.

Poor Harrison! No cookies tomorrow, I guess. :(

Mom said...

Why will it take so long for his permanent teeth to grow in? Maybe he can borrow Grandpa's fake front teeth. :) Glad you got that taken care of, though.

Unknown said...

Good thing he is so cute! Who needs front teeth with a grin like that. Potty breaks are dangerous at our house too. Sometimes I leave the door open, like that might really prevent something. hahhaha.

Kimberly said...

Good job for getting his teeth pulled. My old co-worker's step sister's son (I'll give you a minute to process that) had a dead front tooth and they didn't pull it, preferring that he had a black tooth present in his face rather than no tooth. Nice.

Also, I love Arrested Development.

Also, I can't believe you don't hold your pee as long as your children are conscious. Didn't you get that lesson in YW?

You are awesome.

Andrea Lee U.R. said...

oh what a mess!!!
I know what you mean about the bathroom bit. I feel like I have to run in a run out as fast as I can. If I don't, someone may get hurt, beat eachother up, or come after me and start pounding on the door cause I have been in there for more then one second and they really miss me. ug!!!! No one tells you these things when you think about becoming a mom. (if they did, we could at least practice not going to the bathroom ahead of time so we have it down when they get here. ha ha!)

Jen said...

Poor baby :( (I mean you)

Jess said...

Poor Harrison! Poor Mommy! At least it's common for Elementary kids to be without their two front teeth for a while... I think... And he can sing the song "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth".

Kasey Q said...

Why so long? And how dare you go to the bathroom. Haven't you ever heard of adult diapers?

allyn said...

sorry about the dead teeth and having to get them pulled. sorry about the "ohsoknowledgeablepediatricdentist". i love it when people who live in an office try to tell you about your child.
'member when emma took ballet and she was trying to do some of the moves and biffed it and somehow landed on one of her two front teeth? not both, just one. it turned gray and died and she was the LUCKIEST 4 year-old in the world. she was under the impression that you only loose teeth when you are 5.

elizabeth said...

poor harrison! oh and I love the arrested development title, made me happy to think of that show, not happy to think about harrison's teeth.

Ted said...

This is great. Now I can tell Justin, "BE CAREFUL! YOU WANNA KNOCK OUT YOUR TEETH LIKE HARRISON DID?!?!"

Ashley said...

It would be quite convenient if we didn't have to go to the bathroom. Or shower. Or eat. Or look presentable.

Ted said...

My only question: will this affect his dream to be a tennis player?

Patti said...

He'll be so used to not having two front teeth it will feel like he's Bugs Bunny when his two perms come in. Hope he's back to solid foods by now. Keep smiling, both of you! :D

Angie (Drowns) Kelly said...

Yikes! Olivia has a gray front tooth and I have no idea what she did to injure it...Great Kim...now I am the mom who just keeps it in! Maybe we should get her tooth pulled. And I can't tell you how many bladder infections I have had from holding all day! It's a miracle to get a shower without an er visit.

melissa said...

Secretly "kids fall down" lady was a first year resident at a dental school and it was her second week. That probably added to her stupidity.