Let's Go Fly a Kite

Harrison went out yesterday and bought himself a sweet kite with his Tooth Fairy money.

To answer your questions, I don't think he'll actually be toothless for the next two years. That's just what the dentist said. But what do I know? I can't read x-rays. And, Ted, I think Harrison will live to see another tennis match. Thanks for your concern.

And THAT'S Why You Don't Use A One-Armed Man to Teach a Lesson

When Harrison was a little over one year old, I left him playing in his room while I went to the bathroom for a couple of minutes. When I came out of the bathroom, he was in the living room screaming and covered in blood. I got him in the tub and cleaned him off to figure out where the bleeding was coming from. It turned out that his teeth had been knocked in somehow.

We went to the ER, where the suspicious doctors pointed to every bruise on H's body asking, "Is this what happened? Is this what happened?" They sent us to a pediatric dentist nearby who had apparently heard of children before, or at least read about them in a textbook. She informed me that "Kids this age fall down a lot" and then proceeded to list things they fall down and hit themselves on (none of which were in my home). I guess it never occurred to her that as the person who spent every waking hour with this kid, I was well aware that he had a tendency to fall down and was more concerned about the future of his teeth.

A couple of years later, we noticed that his two front teeth weren't growing as fast as the rest of his teeth. We took him to a dentist and she said she wasn't worried about them.

A few months ago, his two front teeth started to turn gray. We took him to a dentist who suggested we pull them out (and by "we" I mean him).

This morning I gave my son a "kiddie cocktail" full of the good stuff drug-seekers go for and watched as he had two teeth pulled and cavities filled. He won't be able to eat anything but soft food for the next couple of days and he'll be toothless for the next couple of years.

. . . all because Mommy had to go to the bathroom.

Meet Me in St. Louis

Well, I'm back. St. Louis is adorable and I can't wait to live there. I was able to find a cozy (and not in a mobile home way) home for us in a nice neighborhood with great schools. It's a good thing I went in person, though. People are liars and surprisingly good photographers. How do they make crappy houses look so cute in photographs?

I stayed with my cousin Ashley and her sweet family. The first night I was there, I completely threw off their daughter's sleep schedule by having them come pick me up from the airport at a truly inconvenient time. She woke up at 1am on Tuesday ready to party. Then on Tuesday, one of their cars broke down and I happened to be borrowing their spare car. At that point, the youngest one told me to go home because I was ruining their lives and eating all their steak. (Or something like that. She mumbles.)

On Wednesday, Ashley took me downtown to see the sights and their spare car broke down right there in the city. Look how sad they were to see me leave.

I'm so happy to be able to check this off my list. Now I can concentrate on packing and having a baby and moving. Hopefully in that order.

It's Lovely! I'll Take It!

You may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while. That's because any time I've had on the computer has been spent on Craigslist looking for a new home. We're planning to rent a home in St. Louis and I'm taking a trip out to the big city next week in the hopes of finding the perfect abode. Craigslist is not making it easy. I've only bought one thing from Craigslist: a pair of golf clubs for Jeff. When one is selling golf clubs, there are certain things I can overlook in one's sales pitch. But it amazes me what terrible salemen people are when it comes to an actual house. Here's what I've decided:

1. If your post has more than two spelling errors, HAS EVERYTHING WRITTEN IN CAPITAL LETTERS, *********uses astrixes excessively********, or is generally incoherent, I am not renting your home.

2. Referring to your mobile home as "charming," "adorable," or "cozy" does not magically make it so.

3. Post a picture, for crying out loud! Golf clubs I'll buy sight unseen, but not a house! P.S. This doesn't count:

4. If I send you an email asking how many bathrooms are in the home and you send me an email that says this:

"As we are not after the money for the rent but we want it to be very clean at the time and the person that will rent it to take it as if it were its own. So for now, we are here in LONDON, our new house and also with the keys of the house, we try to look for an agent that we can give this documents before e we left but could not see and we are as well as don't want our house to be you seed any how in our present that is why we took it along with us."

. . . Yeah, I don't think I'll be renting from you. (P.S. I got this email twice, only the second time they were in NIGERIA.)

5. I'm not renting from you if your "application" consists of an email with the following words followed by a blank line: Full name, present address, occupation, statues, age, number of kids, income, kids, age, phone, when you are planning to move in, nationality.

I'm 78% sure you're not allowed to ask me most of those questions. My statues are my own business, thank you very much!

I haven't had much luck finding other sites with homes for rent, so if you know of any then please let me know. My friend Stephanie told me about a great site called http://www.schooldigger.com/ that has been very helpful. It rates schools and school districts all over the country.

For more posts about how stupid people are about selling their dwellings, go to: It's Lovely! I'll Take It!