You may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while. That's because any time I've had on the computer has been spent on Craigslist looking for a new home. We're planning to rent a home in St. Louis and I'm taking a trip out to the big city next week in the hopes of finding the perfect abode. Craigslist is not making it easy. I've only bought one thing from Craigslist: a pair of golf clubs for Jeff. When one is selling golf clubs, there are certain things I can overlook in one's sales pitch. But it amazes me what terrible salemen people are when it comes to an actual house. Here's what I've decided:
1. If your post has more than two spelling errors, HAS EVERYTHING WRITTEN IN CAPITAL LETTERS, *********uses astrixes excessively********, or is generally incoherent, I am not renting your home.
2. Referring to your mobile home as "charming," "adorable," or "cozy" does not magically make it so.
3. Post a picture, for crying out loud! Golf clubs I'll buy sight unseen, but not a house! P.S. This doesn't count:
4. If I send you an email asking how many bathrooms are in the home and you send me an email that says this:
"As we are not after the money for the rent but we want it to be very clean at the time and the person that will rent it to take it as if it were its own. So for now, we are here in LONDON, our new house and also with the keys of the house, we try to look for an agent that we can give this documents before e we left but could not see and we are as well as don't want our house to be you seed any how in our present that is why we took it along with us."
. . . Yeah, I don't think I'll be renting from you. (P.S. I got this email twice, only the second time they were in NIGERIA.)
5. I'm not renting from you if your "application" consists of an email with the following words followed by a blank line: Full name, present address, occupation, statues, age, number of kids, income, kids, age, phone, when you are planning to move in, nationality.
I'm 78% sure you're not allowed to ask me most of those questions. My statues are my own business, thank you very much!
I haven't had much luck finding other sites with homes for rent, so if you know of any then please let me know. My friend Stephanie told me about a great site called http://www.schooldigger.com/ that has been very helpful. It rates schools and school districts all over the country.
For more posts about how stupid people are about selling their dwellings, go to: It's Lovely! I'll Take It!
13 Wisecracks:
Oh boy. Maybe it won't be as hard as I thought to rent our place next year if this is what we're up against.
Hilarious!
Always a pleasure. Also, do real estate agents help with rentals? Methinks they'd be worth the time in this case.
Good luck and let me know when I should come help you move in!
I have a relocation realtor helping a little bit, but not as much as I was hoping. Maybe I'll just forget about finding a home and go see a Cardinals game.
Oh my goodness Melissa, my eyes were watering this was so funny. Wow, thanks for that. This is the stuff that cannot even be written if someone were trying to make up a comedy sketch on renting houses. Whew. Whooo.
Have I told you lately you should be a writer??
Oh my heck Melissa! What does this say about the general IQ of the St Louis populace? I'm so scared for you!! Obama must be right- we need to stay in school all day, all week and all year! P.S. I bet that you aren't allowed to get an epidural there :) he he
Oh, man. If it wasn't happening to you I'd be laughing... even harder. Hopefully the bad ones speak as poorly as they write so that you don't get sucked into a rental situation from Stupidland. (How would I make the wah wah wah waaaaaaahhh noise in writing?)
Aren't people amazing sometimes?! We lucked out and finally found this place (that we're about to move out of now) on craigslist. But, I was also looking at forrentbyowner.com, frbo.com, and forleasebyowner.com. I also looked at real estate agency websites to see if they had properties for rent, which they usually did.
I cannot believe those e-mails you got! People are SERIOUS about finding renters, right? I can't believe you've found a few of your own "It's Lovely! I'll Take it!"'s. Good luck finding your next home!
The emails were definitely from scammers. I mean, what are the chances that I'd get the same email for two different houses? I think the deal is that they take your deposit money and run. Both posts were flagged.
Ah yes, I know your pain very well! When we were looking for a home to rent I avoided all those crazy adds too - and how can they expect to rent and not put a picture?? We also got a few of our own #4s... Then we just ended up renting my parents house - much easier. Anyway good luck!
There ARE some pretty lame advertisers on craigslist. Good luck with the hunt! I miss you and your super-fun humor!
people are crazy..or not so smart. :) I hope you guys can find something nice!
Thank you for making me laugh on a regular basis. Out loud, by the way.
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