Walter the Big, Bad, Silent Wolf

Last Saturday we had our preschool graduation. I wrote a play version of The Three Little Pigs for the kids to perform. Harrison played Walter, the wolf, and the three girls played the three pigs. Rehearsals were a bit hectic, but every time I sat down with Harrison to go over his lines, he knew them perfectly. At home he was constantly asking if we could practice the play. On the day of the performance, I had the kids go over their lines in the dressing room. Harrison didn't miss one line.

The play started and all was well until Harrison made his entrance, saw the audience, and froze. I spent what felt like an eternity coaxing him to keep going, but he wouldn't budge. I was playing the part of the Narrator, so I continued the play like this:

ME: Then Walter knocked on Pinky's door and said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in!"
PINKY: No! Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!
ME: Walter said, "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll BLOW your house in!" Walter blew Pinky's house down and chased her into Polly's house . . .

The girls did a great job pretending there was a wolf there.

Despite the fact that my son is not Broadway bound, I am really proud of everything he's learned in preschool this year. Last night he read a book to Chloe at bedtime all by himself!

Teaching preschool with Chelsea and Rachael has been delightful. Thanks, ladies! I'll miss you and your darling children!

In My Pretty Garden the Flowers are Naughty

When Jeff got accepted to Duke four years ago, we took a trip to the Duke Gardens to get to know the area. As we strolled around the gardens we talked about the many future afternoons we would share together among the beautiful trees, flowers, and duck ponds. Yesterday we took our second trip to Duke Gardens and had a picnic lunch. Guess which picture Harrison took.

Once Upon a Time . . .

Yesterday in preschool we were talking about stories. We played a game where I started a story and then threw a ball to someone else to continue the story and that person then tosses the ball to someone else . . . bla bla bla. Here's how it went:

ME: Once upon a time there was a banana named . . . [Toss.]
SOPHIE: Sophie. [Long pause. Toss.]
SYRENA: This banana named Sophie had other banana friends. One was named Syrena. One was named Harrison. One was named Rylee. And one was named Chloe. [Toss.]
HARRISON: I don't want to do this.
ME: DO IT, ANYWAY! [Pause.] Did they go somewhere?
HARRISON: Yes. They went to the beach and one of them died in the water. [Toss.]
RYLEE: And then Jesus came and took their friend up to live with him in Heaven. [Toss.]
ME: [Long pause.] And they were so happy to know that they would see their banana friend again in Heaven someday. The end.

How to Beat a Traffic Ticket

I spent the morning in court for an infraction that occurred January 30, 2008 at approximately 9:55am. I won't go into the details of the incident except to assure you that I am TOTALLY innocent. I went to traffic court last month and decided to plead not guilty (because I am TOTALLY innocent) and my trial date was set for today. I learned some valuable lessons that I thought I would pass on to the rest of you, should you ever need it.

1. Be unattractive.
2. Don't be attractive.
3. Bring a book so you don't have to converse with any of the repeat offenders standing in line with you. I recommend Stephen Colbert's I Am America and So Can You because there are a lot of flags on the cover. Also, it has the word "America" in it. That will make you look patriotic.
4. If someone does try to strike up a conversation with you, say, "I didn't come here to make friends! I came here to win!"
5. Dress like you are innocent, not like you are guilty. Use this as a guide:
Dangly earrings=innocent, pearl earrings=guilty
Jeans=innocent, slacks or skirt=guilty
Tie-dyed shirt=innocent, white blouse=guilty
Stilletos or sneakers=innocent, flat dress shoes=guilty
Backpack=innocent, purse/briefcase=guilty
6. Make sure the officer who issued you the bogus ticket doesn't show up. He could greatly damage your case.
7. Make sure TWO officers don't show up to testify against you. This could eliminate any hope you ever had of winning your case.
8. Make sure your testimony is completely inaudible and inarticulate. Then the judge will assume you are not guilty you will be sentenced to watch a movie called "Smashed."

I hope this has been helpful. I was able to get my $150 ticket reduced to a mere $145. Look at me beatin' the system! All I had to do was go to court twice and be humiliated in a room full of people being charged with DUI's and possession and underage driving (or all three).

So the judge found me at fault and it was not worth it at all. Lesson for me: if two cops say you did something, the judge will believe it. Even if you are TOTALLY innocent.

Rest in Pieces

Last week we said goodbye to Jeff's '87 Honda Accord. The kids were pretty broken up about it because riding in Daddy's "Blue Car" was a real thrill for them. And why wouldn't it be? With the lack of air conditioning, sketchy brakes, and the way it squealed every time we left the parking lot, the Blue Car was always a thrill ride for me, too.

The car originally belonged to my brother-in-law Aron's grandpa. Aron used it all through medical school and then we bought it and Jeff used it during medical school. There's no way we could have gotten by with one car, so the Blue Car was a real blessing.

When we first got it, the radio didn't work very well, so Jeff bought a new one. While he was installing it, the whole middle section of the interior fell apart. Since the air conditioning didn't work well, Jeff would leave his windows unrolled when he parked it on the top level of the parking deck.

One morning the police called and said that Jeff's car had apparently been broken into and the radio had been tampered with. They were more than a little annoyed by my amused reaction.

Six Outta Seven Ain't Bad

My sister, Allyn, and her husband and son were here for the day yesterday. I'm so glad they made time to play with Katy and me at the mall. We planned to let the kids play in the indoor playground, but it was closed for cleaning. (Raise your hand if you're glad they clean those things.) We had a good lunch and got all caught up. How fun to be able to see six out of my seven siblings all in one week! Hope to see you soon, Jen!

Aron and Noah. Noah and Melissa. What a pretty baby!

Chloe meets my friend's son, Tag, and the sparks fly.

Katy, Melissa, and Allyn.

The Thrill of the Hunt

Last week I went apartment hunting in Salt Lake City. Here are the highlights:
1.Taking nothing but a purse on the plane. 2.Spending time with my sister, Nicole, and my niece, Bridget (below).

3.Meeting my nephew, Gabriel (Makenzie's son). 4.Visiting my Grandpa Furniss.

5. Finding a great townhome with this view.

6. Mom making my brother, Aaron, a seperate casserole without eggs.

7. Lunch with the girls (and Gabriel) at "Dear Lizzie."

8. Playing Guitar Hero with my brother, Aaron.

During my three hour layover in Denver on the way home, I saw a young girl with a doll in a baby bjorn strapped to her belly. She even had a blanket over the doll as if it were sleeping. Hilarious. I love that taking a baby on a plane sounded like so much fun that she was actually playing at it. Maybe when she gets home she could take the baby bra shopping, then to church, and finish it up with dinner at a fine dining restaurant.