When I picked Harrison up from school the other day, he had in his hand a gift from the local Rotary Club. It was a book entitled "I Like Me!" It was one of those books where you add in bits of personal information and it becomes a book about that kid. He sat in the back seat and read it to me. It went something like this:
"I like me. I like my name, Harrison. This book is written about me."
How nice. He continued to read about how special he is and soon got to page four, which included the phrase:
"I like to belong to friends who are not in a gang."
I wasn't sure I had heard him right, so I had him repeat it. Then I asked him if he knew what a gang was. He didn't.
On the next page, he read this gem:
"I like to wear a red ribbon to show others I just say "No" to bad drugs.
. . .I like hugs, not bad drugs."
I asked him if he knew what bad drugs were. He didn't.
Page 9 included my new favorite poem:
"I am no fool;
I will stay in school.
I like school.
It is cool!"
Thanks for your help, Rotary Club. I can take it from here.
(To make your own "I Like Me!" book, go to www.ilikeme.org
Friday, January 30, 2009
I Like Me
Posted by melissa at 1:41 PM 10 Wisecracks
Monday, January 26, 2009
Season's Greetings
Wishing you and yours a very Happy Paul Newman Day!
May the spirit of Paul Newman Day dwell within our hearts all year long.
Posted by melissa at 8:57 AM 4 Wisecracks
Friday, January 23, 2009
Sundance of Joy
Yesterday Nicole and I made all our independant film dreams come true by attending the Sundance Film Festival '09. What an event! Navigating the festival smoothly requires a Master's degree in online ticket buying, bus routes, road maps, and pretending to love the "World Documentary" category.

We decided to see a movie called Arlen Faber, starring Lauren Graham (you know, from Gilmore Girls) and Jeff Daniels (you know, from Dumb and Dumber and Space Chimps). It's the story of a man named Arlen Faber (Daniels) who writes a best-selling book about conversations he's had with God. This is remarkable because no one in the world has ever heard of prayer. Everyone looks to Arlen for answers to life's deepest questions, but he is one messed up guy. Ah, the irony! 

On a scale of 1 to Taxi (Taxi being the worst movie, ever) I'd give it a 4. I think the word I'd use to describe it is "uneven." There were some genuinely moving scenes and some really poorly written scenes. Seriously, have any of you or anyone you know ever said to someone, "Hey, can we just start over again?" And then they reintroduce themselves? If I see that one more time on any screen, I'm going to vomit.
Below is a staged picture of me enjoying the movie.
After the movie, the producer (Kevin Messick), the writer/director (John Hindman), and the actor who played Lauren Graham's son (Max Something) all got onstage and answered questions about why they are so awesome.
It was a great experience and now that I have some wisdom to share, I will. Here are some helpful hints if you are planning to attend Sundance in the future.
1. The dress code is "homeless." (Unless you are French women traveling in pairs, in which case the dress code is "clown.")
2. Noon on a Thursday is not a great time to spot celebrities in Park City. You will, however, see plenty of rude teenagers.
3. Movie reviewers who watch four or five festival movies in one day are not the most objective critics. Therefore, if a critic refers to a movie as "poo," it might not be completely true.
4. Avoid an extra hour or two of travel time by figuring out exactly where you are going.
5. While riding the bus, talk about how much you love documentaries. Documentaries, that's your new favorite.
6. Eat first.
If I think of more, I'll pass it along. Between all the bus riding and The Inversion, I'm having a bit of trouble breathing today. (I'm not totally clear on what The Inversion is. Something about all the pollution in the world settling in The Valley instead of in China where it usually is. I think it's something akin to the black smoke monster on Lost.) I'll be lucky if my baby isn't born with two heads. But even if he is, he'll look super cute in his Sundance onesie.
Posted by melissa at 9:25 AM 6 Wisecracks
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Gracias, Senor
The other night we were reading Guess How Much I Love You. I told Harrison I love him to the moon and back. He said, "I love you all the way to China! Wait, no. That's how much I love Daddy. I love you almost to China. I love you to Mexico."
So I loved him all the way to Grandma's house where he remains for the weekend. Thanks, Mom and Dad!
Posted by melissa at 5:32 PM 6 Wisecracks
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Chinese Takeout New Year
When we first moved here, our first goal was to find a cheap Chinese restaurant that delivered. (I'll give you a moment to admire our priorities.) Anyway, last weekend we finally found the Dragon Diner! Woohoo! Achieving a goal felt so good that I decided to make a few more for the rest of the year. Someone once told me that it's not a goal unless you write it down, so I'm sharing them here.
1. Find a vegetable Harrison will eat. This WILL happen.
2. Figure out a way to stick it to Walmart. (Because yelling, "I hate you Walmart!" every time I leave the parking lot no longer does it for me.)
3. Talk myself into breastfeeding again. (It is neither painless, magical, nor convenient for me.)
4. Find a new laundry folding show now that Dawson's Creek reruns are no longer on the air. (Don't judge me. It reminds me of home. Not because I used to use four-syllable words to express my teen angst but because it was filmed in NC.)
5. Exercise. (I'm pretty sure this is required on these lists.)
6. Read more books. Any suggestions? (And, no, I don't want to read a Stephanie Myers book, but thanks for asking.)
7. Replace my printer cartridge. (That one is more of a "to do," but I keep forgetting to write it down.)
Well, that's all for now. I'm feeling good about this. 2009 is going to be awesome!
Posted by melissa at 5:19 PM 18 Wisecracks
Thursday, January 8, 2009
You know, just in case.
Chloe spent the day putting pretend shooting stars in my pocket to save "fo a wainy day."
Last night at dinner, Harrison asked, "Daddy, will you tell me some bad words?"
Posted by melissa at 9:03 AM 7 Wisecracks
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Comments Made By Harrison During His First Viewing of Star Wars
"Is he a good guy? Is he a bad guy? Is he a good guy? Is he a bad guy? . . ."
"Where is Mister Yoga?"
"Uh oh. They should NOT be doing that."
"Luke won't get hit. He's the best. They said he's the best."
"What?! Luke got hit! But he's the best!"
"Why doesn't Luke know it's Master Yoda? Why doesn't he just ask him his name?"
"Why is Joey mad?" (He meant Chewy.)
After The Empire Strikes Back.
Me: Can you believe that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's dad?
Harrison: [long pause] I don't believe you that that's true. [Then he ran to his room crying.]
Posted by melissa at 9:09 PM 7 Wisecracks
Thursday, January 1, 2009
And a Happy New Year!
Last night we threw the New Year's Eve party of the century at our house. At midnight we all drank sparkling juice and opened fortune cookies. Jeff's fortune said, "Behind every great man is a great woman." So true, fortune cookie. So true.

It turns out that 63% of you were right, IT'S A BOY! I would have posted the conclusive evidence, but my scanner isn't working. But trust me, those are boys' feet for sure.
Posted by melissa at 2:12 PM 6 Wisecracks